Georgia's Very Serious Wannabe Senators

[Content Note: Misogyny, classism, racism, reproductive coercion, Christian supremacy.] This news that Georgia Republican Saxby Chambliss is going to be departing the Senate has released great speculation regarding which Georgia Republican will run for his chair in 2014. Hint: Once the Atlanta Journal Metabolic rate reviews that superconservative Chambliss continues to be taking "considerable warmth from Republicans’ right wing," you realize it will not be pretty.Roswell Republican U.S. Repetition. Tom Cost had been making calls to Republicans round the condition Friday to construct support.I'm glad there exists a serious candidate! Tom Cost is professional-family and professional-freedom and professional-American! As well as: professional-proto-American! Because fetuses certainly have privileges underneath the 14th Amendment. However, already-born children who are actually poor don't need healthcare, as well as their parents have no need for sick leave. Because government-protected sick leave is definitely an "invasion of the us government in to the benefits and guidelines of countless companies"! And talking about government invasion, gun regulation can also be certainly bad. But warrantless wiretapping is certainly good! I can tell why Tom Cost is really a top contender. His natural constituency of gun-carrying fetuses in wiretapped wombs will certainly propel him to victory!Plus there is this person:Savannah U.S. Repetition. Jack Kingston, a long-serving congressional Republican within the condition, may also begin... Awesome! Jack Kingston, you might recall, states he will not accept evolution as credible until someone shows him the "missing link!" I'm always super-excited with a Senator who bases science policy around the latest episode of Finding Bigfoot, however it will get better still. Kingston's understanding of SCIENCE! leads him to summarize that people have no need for the federal government to help keep our food safe. As lengthy once we clean the Invisible Hands with lots of cleaning soap and water, everything is going to be all right! Also, gay marriage is wrong since the consuming age is not 18. Or polygamy. Or SCIENCE! Or something like that. You're very awesome, Repetition. Kingston! Personally i think totally comfortable getting you ready of energy.Hold on! You will find MORE excellent Republicans considering running? MY CUP RUNNETH OVER! (With garbage, but nonetheless, that's technically "ruling," right?) U.S. Repetition. Paul Broun of Athens had recently been considering running against Chambliss inside a primary. Broun is yet another science genius, that has belittled transformative theory and embryology in measured terms as "lies in the pit of hell." Clearly, he sits around the House Science, Space and Technology Committee. Clearly!Broun's statescraft also stretches to recommending that Obama's suggested national service corps is "precisely what Hitler did in Nazi Germany and it is just what the Ussr did." Anybody you never know that Marxism and Nazism are identical will get extra science points in my opinion, because POLITICAL SCIENCE! I am certain everybody in Athens, the place to find the College of Georgia, is acutely excited to become symbolized by this type of scholar. Which isn't the finish from the fine, fine, Republican area that's presently scrambling to exchange fellow G.O.P.-er loathsome liberal Saxby Chambliss.Chambliss’ exit adds U.S. Reps. Phil Gingrey of Marietta, Lynn Westmoreland of Coweta County and Tom Graves of Ranger towards the discussion. These left the doorway open Friday to running.Exactly what a great couple of men!Phil Gingrey: another SCIENCE! expert who lately assured us Todd Akin was partially right about "legitimate" rape! You're clearly an electoral genius, Mr. Gingrey. Because Todd Akin's rape remarks are generally morally brilliant and politically popular! Great, great thinking.Lynn Westmoreland: a wonderful fella who known as the Obamas "uppity" but totally not inside a racist way! He did not know which was racist. And hey, I totally think that he was raised in Atlanta within the 50s and 60s but never heard the word "uppity" utilized in a racist sense. You're clearly very observant around the globe surrounding you, Mr. Westmoreland! And thus very, very not-racist that you simply chosen to construct fencing around the Mexican border. You're the most Not-Racist of all of the Not-Racists in Not-Raciston!Tom Graves: a swell dude who's serious about budgets and also the government's fiscal responsibility: "When the Senate again does not pass a financial budget, they're going to have their pay withheld...The United states citizens expect and deserve that type of accountability." However, Tom Graves is a smaller amount seriously interested in their own fiscal duties. This is the bank's fault! Whoooops Tom Graves are you currently possibly not really a financial mastermind? Well I Guess! We ought to still follow your serious intends to lessen the national debt by defunding Planned Being a parent while ongoing war in Afghanistan! That math will certainly work, and Mr. Graves is certainly, certainly Serious. Honestly, I do not observe how the Georgia GOP could develop a finer area of candidates. I'll note, however, that my dog is extremely disappointed they haven't known as her. She's charming and personable, and, like a bonus, does not talk bigoted, ignorant, risible shit about subjects she clearly does not understand. Well i guess. Possibly she's overqualified.